Swimming in Sushi

It's not the only meal in town.
It's just the only one I chow down.
I could eat it night and day.
I can't seem to stay away.
In my belly fishes swim
But at least it keeps me trim

The girl who lived in her blind spot

She gets lost a lot.
She takes long walks through the forest of her mind, exploring the landscape but can never find her way out.
She's a sweet piece of work with good intentions but disturbed.
She plants seeds of love but forgets to tend her garden.
She can never remember where she left her heart, always leaving it in one person's care or another.
She buys dreams wrapped in brown paper packages and keeps them wrapped up.
She collects personalities and puts them on a display, dusting them off regularly.
She never knows where she's going or where she came from.
Oh but the journey with her is something of perfection. She will keep you entertained with stories and song that you will forget how treacherous the path is. You will not feel the rain under the umbrella of her laughter.
Bring her water for her garden.
Hold onto her heart so she may not be overwhlemed with searching for it.
Give her a compass to find her way home.

Be Joyful

 Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer

Romans 12:12

The image in the mirror

Do you remember what it was like to look in the mirror and not be affected by the image looking back. Can you remember looking in the mirror and thinking "Oh that's me" Instead of "Oh that's me and I have a gross zit on my face, and my nose is too big; my eyes are too small. I wish my teeth were straighter. My complexion looks blotchy. I hate that mole on my cheek. Have I put on weight? Maybe I've lost weight. I'm too skinny. I should be skinner. I wish my my boobs were bigger. I need to flatten my stomach. I want longer hair. I need a new hair cut. Why aren't my lashes curled. I hate my appearance."

Your three year old self wouldn't have given a damn about the size of her nose, so perhaps it's time to befriend our past selves that could look in the mirror and say "hello me" and leave it at that.

Rustle me up some ramen

Ramen noodles may not be my favorite food but it makes the top three. So warm, slurp-able, and yummy. I eat a ridiculous amount of it. There's just so much you can do with it. I love eating it as a soup with lots of veggies and shrimp. Below are some other ways I'd like to try this easy but wonderful meal.

Start your day with a smile

Start your day with a smile. Even if you feel you have nothing to smile about, look around and give a thought to many things that are in your life.
Smile at the dawn of morning and the light that shines.
Smile at the sound of your beating heart and the work its been doing.
Smile at the notion of being alive and having a day to live.
Smile at the prospect of making this day a good one.
Smile at yourself for you are definitely something worth smiling at.

Never frown at a new morn because it is a gift that can be quickly taken away.

Is it all worth it?

I try not to complain about school. I try to be grateful for the opportunity. So often, we take things for granted that others struggle to obtain or worse are never offered.

For medical reasons, I don't attend traditional classes. I also didn't get to continue my education in a continuous motion, like I would have preferred. But you do what you can when you can.

However, despite my wanting to be grateful and joyful of this academic experience, it's not always easy. At least I find it more difficult than say being grateful for having a job or food on the table.
I mean I have to eat, even if I don't love the meal the alternative is so blatantly worse. And as for work, I may dislike it at times but there's more of an incentive. I need money. Even if I hate the job, it still offers me an overt benefit for putting up with it. But when it comes to academia, it's sometimes hard to see the trade off. I think I'd feel more enthusiastic if I was attending regular classes.

Online studies can leave you feeling...alone. There isn't someone that can quickly address your concerns. You never really know if you're on the right track and there isn't any peer motivation or assistance. I actually find working from home easier. I do the same amount of reading, I write more than a few essay sized pieces and, often times, I'm on an even tighter deadline with someone expecting even more (since they're paying). In other words, it's just as stressful. But I never feel stressed with work, even when I'm struggling to get the project done on time at the level the client wants.

One might ask, if you already have a career, why continue education. And that's what I've been asking myself too. It's not as if I can work in some skyscraper with a corner office someday. I barely have the health to get through an intense day of work at home. Thus even after I graduate, I'm still stuck looking for clients and working hard to keep them and having an endless list of degrees doesn't prompt prospects to want to work with you online. In fact, in this world it can scare them off.
I've been wondering if the expense and added workload of university studies is actually worth it. 

Easily, I could discourage myself, if I continued so in an effort to remind myself that I should be doing what I'm doing I attempted to make a list of the benefits of school. Keep in mind this my personal list. I don't attend a campus so I can't include the joys of campus life on here.

Why continue school
Because you can. Too many people don't get the opportunity to even step foot in a classroom. For the sake of having the opportunity finish school.

Because it might come in handy. We learn a lot of useless crap in school but sometimes you find yourself grateful for having a certain bit of knowledge.

Because it is one of the best ways to mark your growth. It's so challenging that seeing yourself get through it makes you believe in yourself even more.

Endless Soup

olive garden feat
soup soup soup salad cheesecake
I am going to burst

Chicken Gnocci

Zuppa Toscana

Pasta e Faioli

 Didn't like this one much

Garden Salad

Pumpkin Pie Cheesecake

So Delicious!